How to Beat the College System As An Autistic Student

I never liked being told what to do because the 'why' of it all never made any sense to me, but I have always found comfort in structure. I think that is why I enjoy education so much. The curriculum is structured (in most cases), and then I can run with it on essays, papers, projects, and dissertations. It speaks to all parts of me: the rebellious side that thinks the 'system' is an absolute crock, the autistic side that wants ALL the knowledge, and that ridiculous side of me that is a bit of an achievement junkie-I just want to do/know it because I can. My special interest is knowledge, itself.

My mother can attest to the fact that as a kid I did what I had to do because I had to do it (there were times that this concept did not even apply), but I never liked doing it. I was not a terribly unhappy child, but, even as young as 4 or 5 was maybe just very confused about why the world was the way it was and why people made the choices they made. I lived in a state of confusion mixed with disbelief, because I did not understand the world and I did not feel like I really belonged in it, yet people kept telling me I was so good at the things I was doing in their reality. It was a very conflicting existence: highly academically inclined, but extremely socially challenged. This was the 1980's.

Fast-forward to the early 2000's and after several years of being away from college, I decided to go back because I had finally 'figured out' what I wanted to do with my life - or so I thought. I had not yet realized that the burnout I experienced after several weeks in a semester and the shutdowns I had during classes when I couldn't ask a clarifying question in the moment were ASD related (and quite frankly, I am only remembering some of the instances just now), but they just kept happening. On a few occasions I had to take an academic leave-of-absence and withdraw for the semester. I was working harder, not smarter.

I held a full-time job and went to school at night, which I am sure also contributed to the burnout-and-meltdown-inducing stress. The tight schedule meant that I could really only attend college 1/2 to 3/4 time each semester, and so it took me a lot longer to get through my program than it would have ordinarily. A 4-year undergraduate degree lasted 7 years. However, once I moved into the upper-level classes, I started to figure out that when I had a genuine interest in something, I did not have to trudge slowly through the subject matter or wade drearily through the semester. There was a genuine desire to obtain the knowledge on the topic and studying was easy, if not fun.

The epiphany just described helped me to translate each class into its own mini-version of a special interest, though I had not labelled it as such at the time. I discovered that I had an interest in physics, despite having been terrible at science in secondary school (though I could blame that on the science teachers I had), and I discovered that I had a deeply rooted interest in philosophy and religious studies, despite having never encountered them previously in formal education or in private life. The latter subjects would become a lasting academic special interest, which took me into a successful Ph.D. program.

Beating the system, for me, meant that I had to find something that I was genuinely passionate about in order to succeed. College was not a means to financial end, as it can be for so many people. I was not in classes simply because it meant I would have a well-paying job at the end. It was a means to personal happiness, completely removed from any financial interests. College was about gathering knowledge so that I could use it to make the world better, safer, and happier, especially for people who think and see the world differently than their neurotypical counterparts.

The plan I had at the beginning of my college career looked far different than the multitude of plans I have now. As I have gone through this process and learned so much about myself and the world, I have had to adapt a bit, but I and my plans have truly evolved. My original plan was made through tunnel vision, and as the evolution has taken place, the lens through which I see this world and all the possibilities in it has widened dramatically. If you, the reader, are neurodivergent, I encourage you to beat the system by leaning into your special interests. Break the game, so to speak.

What to Expect After the Application is Submitted

…The Interview

Once you have submitted your Ph.D. program applications, a few things will take place.  There will be a lot of waiting, a lot of email checking, and a lot of anxiety.  However, this all need not be the case.

When you hit the “Submit” button on that last application, the process begins.  The first thing that may happen is that you will receive confirmation emails from any of the organizations to which you have applied.  Expect these and read them thoroughly, as they contain great information about each Uni’s application process.  You may be required to provide additional documentation, interview with a panel, clarify specific information by email, or none/all of the above.  The emails will let you know what sort of time frame to expect as well as what will be expected of you.  More often than not, you will be asked to interview with a panel consisting of your prospective supervisor, the head of the department to which you have applied, and any other interested parties.

For this interview, you may be required to appear in person, or they may simply request an online interview for which you can use any number of web-based services.  In either case, you will want to prepare.  Do your research on anyone who will be on the panel.  Be familiar with their research and teaching backgrounds so that you are not taken off guard by the mention of some author on which they wrote, or paper they published which may be pertinent to your dissertation topic.  Knowledge of these items can be the difference between the acceptance and declination of your application.  You also want to make sure that you visually present your ‘best-self’.  This means donning your best suit, displaying your best grooming (hair and makeup), and being well-fed and rested.  Do not over-caffeinate and make sure to prepare for contingencies, such as the tearing of a piece of clothing or a stain.  Take a bottle of water, a stain-remover pen, and an extra shirt, if necessary.

Prepare for your interview, as well, by thinking of questions you want the people on the panel to answer, such as “how many of your previous students were published by the end of the program?” or “what is the most important piece of advice you give to your students?”  You want to make sure that you present yourself well, but this is not-so-secretly a two-way interview.  You are making sure the fit is right for you, and you may not have met any of these people in person before, including your prospective supervisor.  People are not always what they appear to be on paper.  Do your homework, but it is ok to make them work for your ‘business’ too.

Brush up on what you wrote in your Research Proposal, including any notes your prospective supervisor may have sent you on what to improve or change.  Be prepared to talk about those things, as your knowledge of the changes and their implications can lead to conversations about your (or their) knowledge of other topics.  Sometimes not knowing about a particular topic, that a particular panel member may feel is important, can be a deal-breaker.  This is not to say that you must know everything about the entire field; after all, you are still a student.  This point is only made to say that you must be prepared for almost anything they might throw at you.

After the interview is over, you will want to email each member of the panel to thank them for their time and attention.  This is the same concept as when your parents made you send thank you letters to your relatives for holiday gifts.  Make them feel like their time was worth something.  It leaves a lasting impact, and when the panel reconvenes to discuss all the applicants at the end of the process, those students who left an impression often get pushed to the top of the list.  It is an oft forgotten detail that can make a massive difference.

You will be kept in the loop periodically by each university as you make it through each stage of the process, but if you have not heard on a particular item and the time for responses has passed, feel free to email the graduate admissions department for information on the item.  Responding to prospective students about the application process is part of their job and they are always happy to help.

The last bit of advice I can give on the topic of ‘post-submission’ is to leave your email account alone.  If you are finishing a degree program, you will be in the throes of one of your final semesters and will, therefore, have little-to-no time to worry about whether a given email has arrived.  If, however, you have no distractions…find one.  In fact, find several.  The constant clicking of a ‘refresh’ button will only serve to increase your anxiety level.  It will not increase the rapidity with which responses appear in your Inbox. I promise...a watched pot never boils.

Leave your comments or ask your questions below, and happy submissions!

-Christine Ratzlaff © May 29, 2018

How to Survive the Ph.D. Funding Waiting Game

How to Survive the Ph.D. Funding Waiting Game

You’ve applied for various Ph.D. programs and for funding packages.  You have possibly heard back from some of them and interviewed…now what?

Waiting to hear whether the school of your choice is going to offer you a scholarship, teaching assistant position, or any kind of financial award, can be a grueling game, over and above the waiting that goes on before one is notified of acceptance.  During my own funds waiting game, I often asked myself the question, “if they were so quick to offer me a spot in their program and want me there so badly, then why are they being so stingy with the ‘moo-lah’?” 

Unfortunately, this is the part of the process which separates the scholars from the weekenders, and by weekender I mean a person who applied to all these programs, but did not put their whole week (or self) into the process.  Scholars look at the application process as a full-time job and treat it as such.  It is difficult to find oneself in either category with either set of implications.  A scholar has been able to do nothing else since the beginning, but realizing one is a weekender is a bit crushing, especially as those application and funding deadlines go whizzing past, mistakes are made, and things cannot be done over again.

Most schools in North America, especially the United States, offer a funding package, including a stipend and tuition coverage, along with an offer of acceptance.  Countries outside of North American often do things a little differently.  The application process for an overseas program is completely separate from the application process for funding, and no package is guaranteed with an offer of acceptance.  Many times, if one is applying to an overseas school, the international tuition is quadruple the amount of the home-country tuition (the same concept as in-state and out-of-state tuition in the U.S.), but the funding packages which offer tuition coverage only cover the amount of the home-country tuition, even for international students.  If you really want to go international, you may have to supplement your funding with student loans or grants and scholarships outside of the institution to which you have applied.

A mentor of mine gave me some advice for the funding process, which was to go for anything that can even possibly fund the program.  Apply for all funding options, not just some.  Apply for anything that might assist you in paying for the program you really want to attend.  Treating it like a full time job will not only allow you to apply for more scholarships and packages, but it will also help you keep your mind off the time as it passes, waiting to hear from your prospective schools.

There are plenty of scholarship websites which offer free services locating scholarships and grants for doctoral students.  If you have been a weekender in the past and want to change to 'scholar-status,' then hop on several of these websites and put everything you have into finding and applying for as many scholarships as you possibly can, even if they are small…they add up.  You may also open a crowd-funding page and market yourself on social media as a prospective Ph.D. student who just needs to get over the financial hump to pay for it.  Consider applying for teaching positions within the college (become an employee), or departmental teaching assistantships and research assistantships which pay out as part of a package toward your tuition.  If you are staying local and you already work, see if your company offers tuition reimbursement.  Talk to the financial aid office at your prospective schools, but dig into the resources of the individual department for additional opportunities.  Fellowship and Scholarly programs are also available from outside companies in a variety of fields.

Put your whole-self into this process and you should have great success, putting your mind at ease and your worries to rest.

-Christine Ratzlaff © May 14, 2018

How To Choose The Right Doctoral Program

Being Choosy Is Not A Bad Thing…

There is no better feeling (up to that point, anyway) than graduating from a Master’s program, but the prospect can leave one with a bit of an empty feeling, or a sentiment such as “ok, so what’s next?”  Well, depending on what one wants to do with the rest of one’s life, one can apply to a doctorate program.  A Ph.D. is almost universally required if one wishes to teach at a university, perform any sort of further academic research, or get into a think-tank type opportunity.  If you feel that a doctorate fits your aspirations (academic, not financial) then it’s time to figure out where to study.  There are certain opportunities available only to people who hold a Ph.D., however, these are very few and far between and should not be relied upon.  The best reason to apply for a doctorate degree is to become an expert in your particular field…for the love of the subject and the accomplishment.

Topics: Before you try to decide where to attend school, you really need to do some serious soul-searching about what research you wish to do.  For example, if you are a physics type and you already know that you want to research gravitational singularities, then you can make a written case for that.  However, some people do not specifically know down to the detailed level what they wish to study in a doctoral program.  Take a few weeks and talk to some of your professors to really figure out what it is that gets your academic juices flowing or questions about your subject which keep you up at night.  These are the types of topics that will sustain you through a 3-year to 7-year Ph.D. endeavour.  In my case, I knew from the beginning of my degree program that I wanted to teach Philosophy and Religion at the university level, so I have always known I would need a Ph.D. to get the job I wanted.  During the last year of my undergraduate degree, I decided on a dissertation topic.  I am not a typical case, though, and many do not figure out what they want to research until they are in the throes of writing a Master’s thesis.  Some even continue to drill down their Master’s thesis topics as a Ph.D. dissertation topic.

Is it Unique?: Once you have narrowed down your focus area, you need to figure out if it’s been studied before and where, as you need to be able to make a case for why your topic is of any real consequence in your field or in the grand scheme of things.  Find out through your advisors and professors if your field has a rating system for programs around your country or internationally.  Some fields, like Philosophy, have a sort of peer review system for various programs around the US, UK, and Canada.  Professors from various universities rate the universities, teaching staff, strength in each subfield, and overall worth of each program, and they are then listed in rank format.   Even websites which purport to have ranking systems in place for various fields may shed some light on how a particular university is viewed.  The best information on what counts as a top university in a particular field, though, is going to be the academic staff at your disposal.  They will know which programs are viewed as prestigious or worth-while and which are not.  Make sure to look deeply and critically at each of the department websites for your field.  While a professor who works there may have a background in your chosen topic, the department may not offer it as a specialty.

Potential Supervisors: Based on the list of universities you will have garnered from your discussions with faculty and internet research, you should now be going to each school’s website to look at the research interests and areas of expertise of each of the faculty members in the department within which you would be working.  You will need to find someone with similar interests or at least who has a background in the research topic of your choice.  You may also look to see if any of them have supervised this or similar topics for students before you.  Some professors have photos on their faculty page and some have links to their external website or bio containing additional information and videos.  Do some deep diving here, because this may be the person with whom you work for the next several years of your life.  He or she may be the person responsible for training you going forward and who will be there at the end, deciding whether you have earned your degree.  It needs to be a proper fit.

Introductions: Once you have chosen one or two people from each university, email them!  Introduce yourself to the person as a prospective Ph.D. applicant and tell them a little about why you want to work with them and about your topic.  Ask if they are open to supervising you and what information they would need to make the decision.  Many times, the supervisor will need to send a note of support to the admissions board, or you may have to list the supervisor by name on your application, but you have to get their permission first.  Most potential supervisors will want to see a CV and a research proposal (at least a draft, if not the final version), so you want to make sure you have these items fleshed out before emailing them.  Be open to submitting other documents to them as well, and to having detailed conversations with them about your topic and timeline.  They were once in your shoes, and chances are, they did not have the benefit of email to make the process so smooth.  Make sure to send out all of your emails to prospective supervisors at about the same time, so that while you are having these discussions, you can apply anything learned to all of the discussions.

Funding: The last item to consider is whether you are eligible for funding at the particular schools you wish to attend.  Sometimes, this can make all the difference in deciding where to go.  If you are planning to attend university overseas, you will need to secure funding in an irregular way, and many of the awards and scholarships that are available to most students are not available to international students.  Many schools have awards and scholarship programs that are specific to international student, so just make sure that the schools you email are at least able to accommodate you.  Be mindful of any time differences when you are emailing overseas, as it may delay your emails and replies by a day or more.  The United States partners with many overseas institutions through the FAFSA program, so if all else fails, you may still be eligible for a student loan.  Your prospective supervisor or the department head can often point you in the right direction, if you are at a loss and the school is overseas…another reason to get to know them as soon as possible.

Happy hunting and feel free to ask questions, leave comments, or both, below!

-Christine Ratzlaff © May 6, 2018